That kind of reflection--where we see ourselves and think again about what direction we want to take in the future, sure that it is a very different direction than we've taken so far--often puts us in a frame of heart and mind where we experience God. Why is this? Here's my guess: At those moments where we freely admit our wrongs, we are as close as we ever get to being truly humble. At those moments there is a response that comes from God, a personal response so natural and strong that it can't be stopped, like a hand instantly reaching out to a companion who falls, or like a mother's instinctive turn when she hears her child's cry. The words the theologians use for this pure, spontaneous response is "grace"--amazing grace.

Grace is what a father feels (and a son receives) when he catches his son doing something wrong, and the boy (instead of defending himself or blaming his little brother or making an excuse or telling a pathetic lie to cover it up) bursts into tears and says, "I'm sorry." Punishment seems unnecessary; a stern word even seems out of place. The father takes the boy in his arms and simply says, "It's okay. I love you."

When we experience the grace of God in this way, it can be once of life's most significant events.

Brian D. McLaren
from--Finding Faith
Amazed by Grace

Prayer of the Selfish Child

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
And if I die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my toys to break.
So none of the other kids can use 'em . . . .
Amen.

Shel Silverstein

Speaking of doors

Last night and actually for quite awhile now (which can be seen clearly in past posts), I've been thinking, pondering, and praying about a certain set of circumstances. Here I share my thoughts:

Take for example, a life, any life. Perhaps your own life would be best to consider here--for though it would be easier to judge another, it's best not to go down that road.

Next, take a stronghold that exists in this example life--a job, a relationship, a lack of relationship...

Stronghold being here defined as a strongly fortified defensive structure.

Now understand that when God asks you to do anything, be it big or small, and you refuse, you do not get the luxury of true fellowship with him. It becomes a stronghold.

God asks us to walk through many doors in life and when you choose to shut that door instead of walk over the threshhold, it is not only that request which you turn aside. God is right there, and he'll remain where he is, continuing to ask through sermons, personal readings, friendships, conversations, still small voices, but the more you refuse to walk through that door, the more you turn from those other avenues God is trying to reach out to you through, and the more you effectively shut God out of your life.

Understand that when I use the "you" here, it's not about the "yous" who read it, but about me. I see that door and I see that it's just one request. And in my heart, to say "no" seems ridiculous, as ridiculous as I know that it is to be afraid of a mouse when I'm at least 20 times larger than it is.

It breaks my heart because I know that I have been walking in the other direction to avoid hearing what God has said and continues to say which means I am continually shutting that door in God's face.

Do you get that picture? I stand there at the door and I might as well slam it in his face--who am I exactly do to that?

If any of you remember what it is to be out of God's presence, you should be appalled. I know what that's like, I've been there and that was not of my choosing... now it is.... I consider that fairly lame, don't you?

whatiffy

Haunting little phrase that, "what if..."

Where you are today is a matter of building blocks. Your family should teach you love, loyalty, and forgiveness to name a few. You should be encouraged, challenged, annoyed, and frustrated in turn by those people who are the closest to you.

Because you had a guiding hand, you can ride a bicycle. Because you had a shoulder to cry on you have release.

Ironic is it not that so many of us live in a box? That those things we reach for get further, not closer with time. There are occasions that make it seem as if it means that we weren't really supposed to reach that goal or learn that new instrument, but other times, those obstacles that block our path are there to see just how far we are willing to go to get what we believe we are supposed to be striving for... whether it be to reach the top of a mountain (literally), or to simply reach outside ourselves.

Often we talk big, but we are too chicken to actually DO what it is we proclaim with our speech. Don't live an unfulfilled life, don't allow fear to dominate. Don't let too many internal or external boundaries keep you from what your life could be....

Don't "what if", live.