Holiness

Holiness, holiness is what I long for
Holiness is what I need
Holiness, holiness is what You want from me

So, take my heart and form it
Take my mind and transform it
Take my will and conform it
To Yours, to Yours, oh, Lord

Faithfulness, faithfulness is what I long for
Faithfulness is what I need
Faithfulness, faithfulness is what You want from me

Brokenness, brokenness is what I long for
Brokenness is what I need
Brokenness, brokenness is whatYou want from me
Scott Underwood

I just started reading a devotional that talks about brokenness. If you've never listened to it, I ask that you try to do so. It's sung by Sonic Flood--

What is meditation to you?

I lamented to a friend a few weeks ago that I’m not who I’m supposed to be right now—I can see it on a daily basis.

There are people who call on me for support (sometimes they don’t call, but need it anyway) and I find myself not just falling short, but almost too crippled to do what I ought.

I can’t be the only person in this world to SEE that I’m supposed to be doing something specific, not just with hindsight, not just with foresight, but with perhaps a God-sight—one that says “I made you for a purpose.”

Not being fully sure I can convey what I’m saying, let me just express that when I meet people I gain insight into where I should be and what I should be doing and most of the time tho’ I say ‘I don’t know’ how to get from point A to point B, that’s not the full truth. The road begins with meditation. [And unclogged ears.]

Plans

The best laid plans... oh yeah.

Saturday there were many projects to start and finish, shopping to be done and spending time with family. For two years now I've wanted to take pictures of some poppies (not puppies, poppies), but because of a lack of an operational camera, timing (distance from my location) and some procrastination, that has not happened.

Well, I set out in my little green car Saturday morning around 9am and drove 30 minutes to the spot I wanted to take these shots. Problem was, the sky--it was completely gray. My conversation with God was all inside my head "Lord, you know I wanted to take these pictures..." I was on the verge of tears because my life has been so full of running that I don't often get a chance to pause and do something I want to do that's also relaxing, not demanding.

So the war continues "Remember the last set of pictures you took?" There was rain, unexpected and also unwanted.

"Yes, those were good pictures and yes it wouldn't have been the same without the rain."

Still warring, I wanted what I wanted(there was a shot in particular that isn't possible without a blue sky and a visible sun), but attempting to be positive, I pull off on the side of the road--the flowers were planted next to the highway. I get out of the car and the mist that had been at the beginning of my journey was now real rain.

If I had turned around and gone home that would have been an hour wasted. So as I cross the road, little old man who has just set up his flower stand says "It's raining" and I said "I know" continuing on my way.

For thirty minutes, there was mud and wet and much camera clicking. I don't know how much all of you know about poppies, but man are they diverse. Awesome in fact.

And no, it wouldn't have been the same with a bright sun or a blue sky.

Sometimes, allowing God to work through the rough spots, the ill-timed plans, the small griefs of life--He reveals to us more beauty, more unexpected blessings than we could ever imagine.

It's as if God said "let me show you something beautiful" and I said "but I don't want your something beautiful, I want MY something beautiful" what do we miss out on when we follow only what we desire, ignoring all else?

“This is my commandment that you love one another, that your joy be made full”