Inexpressible Joy

That’s what friends are for… maybe not.

2012-01-23T13:01:00.000-08:00

First understand that this is a story told from the heart, mind and frustration of an introvert. That being said, understand I am not upset, I am simply puzzled and probably mildly annoyed at the actions of a friend.

Second please note that I do know there are other underlying issues that cause rudeness or lack of attention.

Background:
Over the course of my 32 years I have made good friends, moved on from good and bad friends, and discovered there are such things as “convenience” friends. People who only care to be around you when it suits them and when it doesn’t they blow you off at the drop of a hat, the blink of an eye or an ignore button on a cell phone… no words necessary, just ignore-ance… or ignorance....

Why is that? Let’s examine:
We live in an ever-increasing technological world wherein four people riding down the road in the same vehicle will all be on the phone. That might be humorous if it weren’t so sad. We have a complete disregard for the human being sitting right next to us.

We value the wrong things, we treat each other poorly and we expect “oh well, they will get over it” such utter disdain we demonstrate when we overlook another person.

We have bad attitudes. Shame on us. Especially those of us who claim to be followers of Christ. I have been ignored for a TV program, a laptop, a video game, and a cell phone (I did say technology so I won’t name other non-tech, but they do exist). Living, breathing me matters less than plastic, circuit boards, and pixels.

Wow, that’s tough, and while it irks me to my marrow to be with someone who isn’t paying attention when I rarely see them anyway, I sadly admit I have done the same thing. I’m no less guilty, just extremely conscious of it. So much so that I end all calls (except with my Grandmother) before checking out with a cashier… because she/he is a living breathing person who should be acknowledged as more than a self-checkout machine we don’t even speak to….

For the love of another person, put your tech away and interact with the person across from you for a change.

What will the New Year hold for you?

2012-01-10T09:28:00.001-08:00

This is something my pastor sent to all of us on the email list and I appreciated it enough to repost it here:

I hope you have set some strong physical and spiritual resolutions for 2012. But I also hope these these are 15 exercises we will all abstain from in the New Year:

1. Jumping on the bandwagon
2. Wading through paperwork
3. Running around in circles
4. Pushing your luck
5. Spinning your wheels
6. Adding fuel to the fire
7. Beating your head against the wall
8. Climbing the walls
9. Beating your own drum
10. Dragging your heels
11. Jumping to conclusions
12. Grasping at straws.
13. Fishing for compliments
14. Throwing your weight around
15. Passing the Buck :-)

2012-01-10T09:18:00.000-08:00

Homer said "Everyone should have a personal motto" his was "always be late." The Cat who had 60 Whiskers" by Lillian Jackson Braun. What's your motto?

I chuckled when I heard this on the audiobook I was listening to, I mean really... what is your personal motto?

No matter the circumstances I wish to have inexpressible joy. sometimes I fall short. But it is my goal to be filled with joy, why? Well because I have a Creator that loves me and despite my short-comings he is ALWAYS there for me.

1Peter 1:6-9 So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls.

(emphasis mine)

My other goal/motto is not to be tossed about like a wave in the ocean. The ocean is quite beautiful, but the justling about is not a good thing, sometimes I waver more than I ought and this is a constant reminder to me, to stand firm and remember how great and awesome the Lord is:

James 1:5-6 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.

2012-01-10T09:17:00.000-08:00

Ballast is what keeps the boat steady in the storm of life… the joys, and laughter alongside the pain and tears… we should cherish both the positive and the negative.

Merry Christmas

2011-12-24T13:54:00.000-08:00

Hello all! Merry Christmas! YAY Ransom was born December 21st! Please pray for him, he's dehydrated and a little jaundiced.

Showers of blessings:

Brandi is home and has a plan forming in her heart for what to do after graduation
I can go back to school in the spring
Ransom is handsome!
Someone thought of me!
Friends who encourage
Mild days, that makes me want to take deep long breaths (makes me smile)
I have a house to live in
My car has new tires
Did you know how good it feels to pay bills? (Thank God for a job!)
Clarence and Bonnie
Kahlayla, so smart and sweet
I talked to Kris a few days ago... it was good to hear her voice (even if it was croaky ;-)
John & Amber are going to have another baby
CU and professors & staff that actually take an interest in students
Lynn & Miss Irma
Fun with Meagan (and LOTR)
Silly girls who wear everyone else's shoes
A special secret!
FOOOOOD!

I have more, but I'm being called!

2011-10-08T07:21:00.000-07:00

Psalm 86:11 “Teach me your way O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."

2011-09-28T11:55:00.000-07:00

“[…] in the moment when I truly understand my enemy—understand him well enough to defeat him. Then in that very moment, I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody what they want, what they believe and not love them like they love themselves and in that very moment when I love them…

“You beat them.” For a moment she was not afraid of his understanding.

“No you don’t understand. I destroy them, I make it impossible for them to every hurt me again. I grind them and grind them until they don’t exist.”

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

blessings

2011-07-12T11:03:00.001-07:00

the pastor encouraged us to list our blessings last night and so because I have just entered a post that was less than pleasant I think I will right now:

A beautiful nephew and niece and one more on the way.

friendship (KB, NC, SJ, CR, AH, MR, SC, CH and oh so many more)

talent

living grandparents

compassion

sweet pickles (the person, and the food)

a God who loves me and provides for me

a car that runs

that's all for now ;-)

Fit for this job…

2011-07-12T10:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at work I began to question further my ability to work with children in high stress situations.

Why? Well because there were two young people in the library. A dating couple, the young man was rather loud and in her face. The young lady was quiet, and flinched when he got so close I could barely see air between them.

Clearly they have a history. I do not pretend to know it all, but what portions I do know based upon their frequent visits and my instincts, suggests a less than pleasant relationship. So after his exit and return from the building (at least ten times) and a brief conversation with her in the bathroom, I called the police.

You see, I left my position at the circulation desk while he was barring her way into the bathroom… walked straight up to them and stated, “You need to let her go.” In that split second wherein the words left my mouth and I began to question my ability to MAKE him let her go, I realized I had no way of truly defending her, or myself. He isn’t a big guy (praise the Lord) and he had enough sense to let her go. But still, he was angry and I didn’t have any other words to say.

I just don’t know if I am capable of dealing with that kind of incident with parents involved, or even with several youth or children. I mean really, I get seriously emotional. Not just tears, but anger and frustration.

That aside, in a library filled with people I am beyond baffled that not one other person bothered to step up and help that girl.

woo ooooh!

2011-07-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

I purchased three seasons of Ducktales! YAY for cartoons!

I'm building my video collections and instead of going for the "classics" I opted for something silly!

2011-06-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

“Or is it that man contains within himself the seeds of evil. That even if he is placed in a paradise perfectly formed for him, he will poison it, slowly with his own jealousies and desires. I fear it may be that we blame the prison for our own corruption […].”

“Incarceron” by Catherine Fisher

2011-04-06T09:05:00.000-07:00

"Work began immediately in typical American style, without too much paperwork or bureaucratic fuss." Around the World in 80 Days by Jules Verne

(Currently I am listening to all manner of class literature available through the library, I heard this statement and chuckled... doesn't that make 1873 sound preferable to our current state of affairs is Washington with concerns to all things political and financial for our country? Sounds good anyway...)

It got better: "The speed with which the track was laid would not at all affect the quality of its construction."

Ah yes, speed and quality ;-)

2011-02-10T13:55:00.000-08:00

Praise the Lord above for little things... they are as amazing as the big ones.

It's an answer to prayer that makes me lighter in heart...

And another answer to prayer that JU is going to consider leading Bible study. I'm ready to start again. Three months of not meeting is too long!

Where to start?

2011-01-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

Alright so no one really reads this anyway (except you of course).

My heart is sad, I have a friend who still doesn't see her worth and my heart aches. One day I want her to walk up to me and say, "I get it." That is a day I pray for and will attempt to wait patiently until I see. She's so smart and motivated (when she wants to be). And very soon she will be making many more daily decisions that affect her and her sweet little baby.

I wish it were as easy as saying, "do-over" I just hope she doesn't stay mad for long.

And so I heave a sigh and pray for her, knowing full-well God's got this covered.

I miss Slacker and Winter

2011-01-07T08:14:00.001-08:00

So this post is for the two of you... I was making a list of kiddie books and had to go back to the title that Slacker found for me... Barba Papa....

Where are you two posting these days... or should I have searched before posting? I will after I'm done I suppose.

Susan's Wedding

2010-11-23T12:01:00.000-08:00

Come look at the photos!

my tale of woe (or lesson learned)

2010-11-23T12:00:00.001-08:00

Friendship bread…

My sister gave me starter…. She gave some to my mother as well, and I ended up baking both starters. That’s a lot of stinkin’ food! So instead of doing the same flavor over and over again one was done with pistachio, one was done with cocoa powder and chocolate chips and the last batch was done with dates.

And so ends my tale of woe, for you see the 10th day is baking day and I, I forgot until 10:45pm… leaving me cooking until the wee hours… and sleeping for a mere four hours.

Yikes!

The Christian’s dilemma

2010-10-15T05:53:00.001-07:00

Conversation allows for outlet, conveyance of ideas, and sometimes the beginning of action.

Scenario:

You know a family in need. So for those who are of a giving nature, or who are generous, the response ought to be to help wherever you can. Makes sense, right? Love God, love people… love is action.

Broaden the scope of your view and you see that: The need is perpetuated by bad decisions on the part of the family members. Now what? Do you still help? Or do you stand back and say, “it’s their fault, let them fix it.” or “why doesn’t the church take a more active role in helping this family?”

Aside: “why doesn’t the church…” who is the church?

When you hear God call, no matter the circumstances, you answer that call and you either obey or you ignore. When you ignore, you run the risk of distancing yourself from God.

Our choices are our choices, and that $5 that God prompts you to hand to the homeless man in the parking lot should be given to that man without questioning what he will do with it. That man has his own set of choices to make.

Your job is to listen and obey.

2010-06-14T08:10:00.000-07:00

Pastor
–noun 1. a minister or priest in charge of a church. 2. a person having spiritual care of a number of persons.

–verb (used with object) 4. to serve as the pastor of: He pastored the church here for many years. Use pastor in a Sentence

A weight lifted Sunday around 6:45pm last evening. I was driving to church and I realized my shoulders felt lighter, and so did my heart.

All I can say is praise the Lord and God is always good.

The future

2010-06-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

A month ago a friend and I were talking about the future and wishing sometimes that we could see what lay ahead.

We want to control so badly the direction our lives go. We want to be informed! As if by some right, we deserve to know. But what are the limitations of this knowledge? Who would lay the groundwork for what is known and what is obscured?

Often we ask God for an explanation of our circumstances—begging…, pleading…, crying out for a chance to see what these experiences hold for us. When we ask however, it is usually out of pain, anguish, or confusion.

But let’s step back to that filter, how could we just know the one outcome? Wouldn’t we be exposed to more? Being closer to omniscient than any of us desire to be.

Several weeks after the conversation, I had this flash of the future appear in response to a thought/prayer in my head. It was at once definitely certain and utterly horrible in it’s pronouncement. The thought is one I will not share with anyone because, God help me, I hope it was only an example of why I don’t need to know everything.

We would mourn before we were supposed to… we would attempt to change future events, in general we would be our meddlesome human selves attempting to alter what stretches out before us.

So as not to end negatively, perhaps you could think of the things you wish to do, the legacy you want to leave behind and live it. Today.

Be ashamedly peculiar.

1 Peter 2:9-10 But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own peculiar people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.

Loving Confrontation

2010-05-14T09:02:00.001-07:00

There are times when it is important to deal directly with a problem.

I listened to someone say that to have a real relationship with someone, not a shallow/superficial one you have to go through valleys of truth, but that you come out on the other side having a meaningful relationship that has grown.

Conflict is hard, confrontation is something most of us avoid if we can. But as I listened to this man say these things I thought about a friendship I had. I tried facing the issue and having a difficult conversation instead of repressing it (which is hardly ever good) and in return got flat affect and dispassionate responses.

Then, slowly and with further pain I realized that really what I thought was a close relationship was me making effort and when in the presence of this person getting a response, but not ever being reached out to…

Construction on that bridge has stopped and oddly enough it appears to have started decaying. No one else is there to work on it.

Hard lesson learned.

But really, it doesn't end there, for you see, I have also learned to be more discerning and that confrontation always teaches you something. Even if that lesson isn't one you would prefer.

Just be prayerful and include a person who will be there to call you out if you are harsh in your tone or being unChristlike.

2010-03-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

There are people that make it difficult to leave a church… the body of Christ, those that teach just by being there. Who work hard, who share often and who love greatly....

When I left my first church (on my own), there were families of significance who led by example, quick to love, quick to help, quick to teach.

I find myself in the same place, not wishing to leave because of those that have touched my heart and I know that’s not a good enough reason to stay anywhere. So I’m at a crossroads-- making decisions I wish I didn’t have to make.

And again I have learned through hurts and through love that God is still faithful and still working on me as well as through me.

To the faith-filled "I thank God upon every remembrance of you..." Philipians 1:3

Walk by faith not by sight

2010-03-22T08:41:00.001-07:00

Over the years I’ve had many conversations about outreach and inreach… one stands out right now, this man once shot down a woman who said she could not donate money for Bibles. She said instead that she would pray for the project. Mind you this was a chatroom conversation and so you know that this woman has some access to a computer, possibly her own. Not something I would take for granted, she may be living off the smallest amount of money possible and here is someone tell her that prayer is not enough… I was disappointed, his point was that there was always a way to help out beyond prayer and that you could FIND a Bible to donate if you were persistent. And I agree, but instead of making someone feel badly for not having that kind of disposable income, pointing them towards that place he knew of that would donate a Bible would have been more productive and uplifting.

Never presume to know what one person can do. That’s called arrogance.

Have a little faith, you faithless one.

Easier said than done, you say? Okay, so work on your faith muscle and don’t compare apples to oranges. Share your knowledge and rejoice that God has given you insight where others lack.

Island revisited

2010-03-04T10:42:00.001-08:00

Christians are a disheartening lot. Whichever way the wind is blowing that’s the way they bend. I pause to question if that’s what I’m doing right now. My heart is trouble. What I want more than anything is to quit this thing called “church” or “corporate worship.”

The problem is that this I am the one considering these options. ME… and I pause because what if God has a plan that I cannot see in the middle of all the junk, what if right now the lesson I should be learning is that leaving conflict and confrontation behind at this church will only find me in the same state with different people at a different church?

I’m 30, I’ve watched people come and go in church my entire life… I didn’t notice it much until I was about 13, but it’s a trend. The fashionable thing to do… search for a church… try it on and decide if it’s a good “fit” for the individual or family. God is not apparel, so why do we do this?

My speculation would be that because we are fault-filled, sinful, selfish people we look out for ourselves before we consider the God-sized picture surrounding our lives—this world so much bigger than you or me.

Mind you, it is not the intention of this post to claim leaving one church for a different church is not of God motivated. Surely God moves us from our place of complacency to one of action and sometimes that means a different body of believers in a different geographical location (even if that location is just a few blocks away).

I simply fight the battle of those who desire to leave the extra junk behind and do the work God gives us without adding to it, “church” is not always the best example or facilitator to doing the Lord’s will.

Wistfully I think, “An island would sure be nice.”

Life

2010-02-22T06:03:00.000-08:00

I work in a library... with someone who finds small changes frantically unwelcome. The amount of anxiety that is expressed is almost overwhelming to me. All over the most insignificant changes.

This week my sister was in the ER twice. She's been operated on, released and doing well.

A friendship I have had for years seems to be falling by the wayside.

People in Haiti are still without homes.

Tragedy abounds beyond each corner. But here at the library if something is moved and not "findable"--one would think the building were about to collapse.

Broken, bruised and fearful

2010-02-15T06:57:00.000-08:00

Last night I had a text conversation with a friend… Starting with the words: “pray over it.” And continuing with the story:

This world is full of brokenness. Our hearts are fragile, and yet we sometimes act as if they are not. That we are tough and can handle anything.

The examples we live by are those of the people who surround us. We see relationships that are imperfect. We see people being human and doing what they can to hurt one another, intentionally and accidentally.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. It’s a day that has held little meaning for me because there’s only ever been once when there was a “valentine” for me and that ended before it began (not quite, but close enough).

I often steer clear of this topic, but today I’m going to share anyway, pardon an vagueness that you find.

Those imperfect relationships we see and grow up with, they color our world. Whether it be divorce, abandonment, abuse, bickering or some unnamed issue. Whatever it is, it can be crippling. I think the part that confuses me most is how children in the same house react so differently to those situations.

In the past and sometimes the present, I have found sometimes my decision to do something has an added “reason.” I applied for school and later had the thought, “maybe I’ll meet someone while I’m there.” This bothers me.

My friend said it shouldn't, and yet I find that it both annoys and confuses me. Mushy sentiment, I'm more of a "roll my eyes" sort of person not an "aaaah, how sweet," open cynic, closet romantic... kind of, but not. I can be very happy for a friend. And yet not for me.

I'm happy being single, most all the time, just now and then I have bouts of frustration.... The friend ended by asking if I pushed away from looking or hoping for someone so I wouldn't be disappointed. Often I repeat, but I don't want what they have (looking to the examples I know).

So, we are back to "pray about it."

Thank you ladies and gentlemen, I am your negative voice today.... signing off.

good with the bad?

2010-02-11T12:46:00.001-08:00

Almost two weeks ago I was in a car accident. My poor little dodge neon is rusting where the paint was crunched away....

So I'm one big wad of frustration as I work my way through a lawyer, the DMV, assessment of my damages and on the periphery, oh yeah, that application I submitted for Grad school.

But as a "plus" I've been staying with my parents which means I haven't driven anywhere in two weeks (no gas money spent) and I haven't had to pay for food because they keep feeding me.

Then there's this pretty little dark-haired girl with the cutest little nose. And while her cousin Isaiah isn't sure what to do with her just yet... he seems to like her, at least a little bit.

Blog? ME BLOG? Never heard of such a thing...

2010-02-10T08:45:00.001-08:00

So I just recently skimmed two actors’ biographies… pardon… a book about a house (a round-about way of telling the story of someone’s life) and a memoir (because the man has already written his autobiography). And then several months ago I pulled an audiobook of another actor’s life and listened to a portion of it.

Three men, between the 1930s and 1950s, whose careers were substantial. They make me sigh with a sadness you may or may not feel for others who miss what’s important in life.

I don’t want to name the actors or the books, but I do want to give you a small picture of the mixed priorities of people. This man was so enamored of the life he led and the people he knew that he was greatly disappointed when his fifth wife was not impressed when she was introduced to his “crowd” as it were at a restaurant. He pointed to that as one of the first warning signs that their marriage was not to last.

The latest book was written in an immature, self-centered way. The author expressed “regret” over relationships that had failed or did not even exist (as with his 6 children). He opted to have a glamorous life with months at a time away from his little ones and when they were old enough to understand at least two of them have essentially turned their backs on him. Sadly one died of a drug overdose, and while pain was expressed over this loss—I daresay he had little to do with his son.

We all make choices, we all see what’s good and what’s bad… we have all made excuses for the things… if we are wise we begin to make fewer excuses and give fewer apologies, because we live by our word and we try not to have regrets.

If you have children, spend time with them, if you have goals continue to strive for them. If you love God be sure to share Him.

Rose in Bloom

2010-01-08T10:19:00.000-08:00

"Well, I know this much," added Mac, suddenly sitting up with his hair in a highly disheveled condition. "It is very unreasonable in us to ask women to be saints and then expect them to feel honored when we offer them our damaged hearts or, at best, one not half as good as theirs. If they weren't blinded by love, they'd see what a mean advantage we take of them and not make such bad bargains."

---

"Never mind sides, uphold the right wherever you find it. You needn't stare, Steve I told you I was going to look into this matter, and I am. You think I'm wrapped up in books, but I see a great deal more of what is going on around me than you imagine, and I'm getting on in this new branch, let me tell you, quite as fast as is good for me, I daresay.?

"Going in for perfection, are you?" asked Charlie, both amused and interested, for he respected Mac more than he owned even to himself, and though he had never alluded to the timely warning, neither forgot.

"Yes, I think of it."

"How will you begin?"

"Do my best all-round keep good company, read good books, love good things, and cultivate soul and body as faithfully and wisely as I can."

"And you expect to succeed, do you?"

"Please God, I will."

Louisa May Alcott

Send me a revelation

2009-05-26T06:51:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a song on the radio Monday at lunch… sitting in my car looking out the window… the bush beside my parents house is over run with honeysuckle vines…

The man in the song was asking to be given a revelation from God--the thoughts crossing my mind where… it’s so bright and green and beautiful and then for second my eyes refocused and I saw the dirt on the window… and so I rolled it down and there it was, even more bright with white and yellow flowers.

We compromise all the time, allowing our idea of what is good to get in the way of what God has given to us. Which is very good and devoid of dirt and scratches or any other thing that might mar it’s beauty.

October...

2008-10-28T10:45:00.001-07:00

Wow... alright so brief summary of the weekend

Boone-riding-laughter-ladies-wisdom-fun-sleepless-food-more food-FUDGE-leaves-overlook-waterfall-love-shopping (gag)-driving-late-retreat!

2008-09-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

Seven years ago. When the radio announcer said those words I was surprised... has it really been 7 years?

And now as I sit at exactly 9:11 on September 11th... I think about how unreal it was to see on the television screen our buildings on our soil in flames.

I cried. So many lives. A friend of mine questioned my sorrow. I hadn't lost anyone and countries all over this planet suffer every day the shear horror and terror that men and women would inflict upon each other to make a point or to take some sort of political stand.

Why do we do this to one another? Because we are lost, aimless and in search of something to fill the emptiness.

Oh wandering reader... if your eyes should find this post, know that there are those of us who think of you and pray for you.

2008-08-28T05:51:00.000-07:00

What if they die without God....

Does it matter at all?

We have no idea what their state of heart is unless we talk to them....

2008-06-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touched down on the cold black tile
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breath in the familiar shock
Of confusion and chaos
Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus:
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

Step out on a busy street
See a girl and our eyes meet
Does her best to smile at me
To hide whats underneath
Theres a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie
To ashamed to tell his wife
He's out of work
He's buying time

Are those people going somewhere?
Why have I never cared?

Chorus

I've been there a million times
A couple of million eyes
Just moving past me by
I swear I never thought that I was wrong
Well I want a second glance
So give me a second chance
To see the way you see the people all alone
Brandon Heath

SL is not "inner city" like some places, but it's got some very rough neighborhoods. And the children within them are so precious--the lives they lead are so sad... heartbreaking really.

Brothers and sisters from different parents all over the place, drug using family members, parents in jail, run down houses (that look bad on the outside, and if they look bad on the outside, what must the inside look like?).

Their honesty and forerightness in telling stories from home of fighting with siblings... not the sort of a fighting I grew up being engaged in... maybe tumbling a little onto the floor, not so for many of them more like knock-down, drag-out and then:
"he peed in my shoes"
"well, why didn't you were a differen't pair of shoes"
"because I don't have any other shoes, we share, today it was my day to wear these". (6 and 8 were the ages for those two boys)
---
"she smacked my face against the wall because she thought I stole her CDs" (8 and 12 are the ages for the second set).

Very little parental input, very little support for schoolwork... no direction...

So this is FBC's mission field and some of the members of the church have been there so long they've forgotten that their little world isn't all there is... that pain and suffering surround us and sometimes we just need to take off the blinders....

So do me a favor and reread that chorus:

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me your heart for the once forgotten
Give me your eyes so I can see

May this be your prayer, may this be your burden.... They are dying, do you care? If you said yes in your head, then what are you doing to prove it?

2008-06-10T06:14:00.000-07:00

Dreams are strange things. I had one early this morning and at the tail end of it, I woke up remembering a boy about 4 or 5 checking out books. I had to have his name so we were talking when I discovered it was a child of someone I haven’t seen in six years or more. Last night there was nothing I thought about that would have brought him to mind so what do I do with this out of the ordinary dream; this doesn’t-make-sense-to-me-to-dream? Never having been particularly close to him or his wife who were both in the back of my mind (because they weren’t even there…), or to his brother who was also mentioned in the dream? I pray for them because that’s the only thing that makes sense. So please pray for David, Tara, their son and for David’s brother Stephen.

2008-06-06T11:03:00.000-07:00

too much time on my hands... going stir crazy, ppl, going absolutely stir crazy! and here is the proof!

Weddings

2008-06-04T08:38:00.000-07:00

A conversation (okay three conversations)

(Identifiers: Logan is a friend of both Tim and Cassandra, the newlyweds, Ben is Tim's brother, both were groomsmen)

Directly following the reception

Auntie Pat: Logan is a nice young man...
Me: Yes he is...
AP: You're not interested?
Me: No, no I'm not.
AP: He has a nice singing voice.
Me: Yes he does.

An hour later
Pawpaw: What's this I hear about you and Logan?
Me: Uh, nothing...
Pawpaw: He seems like a good guy.
Me: Yes, yes he does....
Pawpaw: Okay, well what about Ben he seems like a nice fellow.
Me: Yes he does and he's cute too.
Pawpaw: You're not interested...
Me: No, not really.

Two days later
Coworker and I happened to meet at a local ice cream place, he stuck around and we talked. He'd spent the afternoon with the children's librarians and a Summer Reading Program promoter... Scooter Hayes.

So we are talking about just about everything when he asks me "how old are you?" I respond "Twenty-eight" and he says "Scooter's 27 and he's single"

----------

I must admit I'm better now than I used to be, it used to be that if someone did that to me I would get so angry... now I just don't care... thanks guys for your very fine support :-P

If you choose to click the link please watch Makeover Lady... it's good :)

Heather v. Roach

2008-05-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

I have a friend who writes a comic that includes roaches, as if that were a cute character. Granted he is a male and that sounds right up the alley of a male who has lived in a college dorm… ew gross!

So here I chronicle the story of Heather v. the Roaches and here you will find that in the end the winner is obvious. Disgusted, creeped-out and unrelenting I will win this fight!

The new apartment is nice, it has fairly new carpeting, new tile, a beautiful stand of trees in the backyard—I love it, except for the inhabitants of house who are unwelcome, and came before me—who probably thrived on the last tenant. The apartment has been sprayed, boraxed and roach moteled, buddy, it’s not going to take me 6 months to get rid of these nasty creatures!

While talking to my sister I spotted the first 1 inch roach and screamed, SCREAMED in her ear, she thought it was the television… go figure. I rushed to find a squashing implement only to return and discovery he’d escaped me. Fine, I’ll keep the shoe closer next time… (actually I put it back, stupid move). Thirty minutes later I was working on something and watching TV when along comes (no not a spider) but a roach about the same size as the last one, so maybe it was the same fellow. I backed out of my chair and landed on the floor all while screaming again! (praise the Lord the neighbors on either side were gone for the weekend) So I recovered and ran for shoe, when I returned he reared back and regarded me! He had the nerve to look at me and then followed me with his whole body when I moved to one side or the other… Needless to say I prayed a lot while trying to rid my apartment of this creature. And no doubt my ever-humor-filled heavenly Father looked down in love and rolled with laughter.

I won that battle (20 minutes—no lie), he had a watery grave attended only by me, the murderer.

Synopsis

2008-05-13T11:51:00.000-07:00

Chipped a tooth
Baby was dedicated
Made bouquets
Book fair at the library
Took some pictures (big surprise!)
Made a turtle pee all over the road...
Invited over by perfect strangers to share their meal (speaking different lanaguages)
Riding in a car with my stressed out mother
Almost got in a car accident!
Trying to be less crabby and let the little things go (rise above, rise above, the world is full of big deals, the little deals shouldn't ruin your day)
Moving into a new apartment!!!

******************

Blessings counted:
B home safely
Wedding is almost here
It's beautiful outside
A short talk with a little old lady (full of spunk/life)
Kris
Brother got a phone (woohoo, now I can pester him!)
Morning off
I-hop!(the baby not the restaurant)
Music
Most importantly, a loving God who chooses to add us to his plans

Turtle Adventures!

2008-05-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

Turtle adventures
I'm an official member of Turtle Rescue, when I'm driving down the road I often spot turtles (especially in the spring and early summer) and have to make a u-turn to help a fella out.... Well yesterday was one such day. Snapper was 20 inches long at least, not heavy (because I did manage to pick him up once), but not friendly enough to actually help, help... lucky for me he was long because I got him from behind and had a good hold on him, but when he snapped at me I dropped him and screamed!

So here I am trying to "chase" a turtle across the road because he was raising up and snapping at me each time I tried to pick him up and I got skeered! After about 5 minutes this lady pulls over as well, opens her trunk and gets these bright green rubber gloves, she's far enough away not to be able to identify what I'm attempting to "help" and says "what is it?" "A turtle, but he won't stop snapping long enough for me to get him to the side of the road!" So whilst I'm distract him with a stick, she grabs his tail and flings him to the side.

Parting words from her "I love animals" She lectured turtle and told him that he needed to stay on the grass, we parted ways and I hope the turtle lives to be a grand old age!

Name that object...

2008-05-07T11:10:00.000-07:00

The impetus for this picture was an accident... it was behind what I was actually shoot--Just thought I'd share with you... once you've had a chance to guess, then I'll post a few other pictures to make it easier to identify... Susan you are so not eligible for this "competition" I showed you already so that would be cheeeeating!

Some people probably

2008-05-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

think I have an obsession with flowers, but really, it’s just one of those obvious, colorful, eye-catching manifestations of God’s creation and I am awed and inspired that someone so big, so full of important people and projects to see to and prayers to hear that he would pause long enough to bless us with his living design, this place we live, this earth.

A patron brought in some roses for our dearly loved Children’s librarian and instead of keeping them to herself, she shared them with the public, so Susan and I played “snap-that-picture” today and I will probably (possibly) post some shots of those at a later date.

My next photo plan is to go strawberry picking and shoot some of those! Isn’t God good?

Camera Angles

2008-05-02T05:34:00.001-07:00

Cat? What Cat?

2008-04-30T05:38:00.000-07:00

This is not my picture, but I thought it was worth the share!

How many, how much

2008-04-18T06:30:00.001-07:00

How many slams in an old screen door?
Depends how loud you shut it.
How many slices in a bread?
Depends on how thin you cut it.
How much good inside a day?
Depends how good you live ‘em.
How much love inside a friend?
Depends how much you give ‘em.
~Shel Silverstein (from A Light in the Attic)

Communication

2008-04-09T05:37:00.000-07:00

or lack thereof...

Q: "Why?"
A: "Because I said so"

Partial question: "Why (or why not)....?"
A: "It's my house"

Q: "Where are you going?"
A: "out"

The above conversations happened often in my house always involving my dad. Along with other non-helpful, non-explanatory conversations.

Two weeks ago there was a topic in my Sunday school class about how, when you understand why something is being done, it makes it easier to do the job that's asked of you.

Answers that aren't really answers at all are infuriating and accomplish very little... it's okay not to disclose the world to a child, but explaining why this works one way and that over there works another, is something a child can at least attempt to grasp.

Now bring that child to adulthood and have those same non-conversations and what do you get?

Zero relationship and one shouldn't be surprised by it.

---

Now move into impetus for this post... when you don't communicate and you leave things intentionally unsaid, a lot of people will jump to conclusions and make up their own (mostly false) assumptions. Ridiculous, absolutely, utterly RIDICULOUS! And again I'll use the word infuriating!

National Child Abuse Awareness Month

2008-04-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

This is a subject close to my heart. Fresh from a Sunday morning and evening picking up children to go to church... knowing full well that there are those who come from loving homes with supportive parents but also knowing there is a strong possibility that some of the youth and children who ride are forgotten, neglected and left to themselves, or noticed only to be beaten or otherwise mistreated.

It's horrific to me. I've read books, and I've known people, young and old--who were not protected and cherished as gifts... but used and abused. It breaks my heart.

If you know, if you KNOW a child is not being treated well, physically, mentally, sexually... whatever category... you are obligated to step forward for the ones who cannot protect themselves.

Her name is Angie and she started it all, my eyes were opened at the age of 16 and how I prayed and beg and pleaded with God to have shown me sooner, to show me sooner for all I meet in my future.

Point to Ponder

2008-03-27T06:51:00.000-07:00

If you purchase something from the store, it's yours. That means you get to choose how to use it.

Is this correct?

If you are in agreeance, hold onto your hat.

Christ bought us with his life, a very high price for ones so lowly as we. This translates simply: I have no right to tell God what I'm going to do with my life. It isn't mine anymore. Wow...

Excerpt

2008-03-26T11:14:00.000-07:00

The writing of their proposal caused quite a stir...:

"Have you ever been in a room with a bunch of well-meaning but experientially challenged PC folk when they're working themselves up into a mega-tizzy of self-righteous indignation over some supposed injustice? If not, lucky you."
Bastard Tongues by Derek Bickerton

Not a fan of the title just because it's not a pretty word but, the information inside the book (thus far) is very interesting.

What would you find if you simulated an environment in which people of different languages were put together for over a year on a deserted island? What would their language look like? What does that show us about the languages in existence today?

I'll give you an update when I finish reading through this very interesting linguistics study.

Home again home again

2008-03-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

YEAH!

2008-03-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

Never eat more than you can lift.
Too much exercise can damage your health.
Never let your frog outdress you.
Never wash your hair with anything you'd hesitate to eat or drink.
Moi's hair has natural curls. So does my tail.
Many people think money is something to be set aside for a rainy day. But honestly, how much money do you really need for a dozen or so hours of inclement weather?
I am a pig, and as a pig, I have always stood out. All my scenes are my own. A double? Impossible! I am unique.
It is often said that cooking is an art, but I have had very few meals that I would hang on my wall.
What are awards? Mere baubles, mere bagatelles, mere Brussel sprouts. I give no thought.
The Oscar – is that what they call it? – means nothing to me. After all, one does not labor to shape one's craft just for some tacky statuette that looks like a hood ornament from an old DeSoto.
This, you see, is my ultimate ambition – to live a simple life with the frog I love.
I plan to write more books whenever I can find the appropriate writing attire and color-coordinated pen.
Technologie, moi must admit, is not moi's cup of java.
There is the satisfaction of providing your public with a vision of true beautology, true sytlisity, - how can I put it? – true glamorositude.”
Moi speaks body language fluently, although with a slight French accent.
What if you were in Florida without your furs and there is a very quick little ice age?
Whenever possible, avoid airlines which have anyone's first name in their titles, like Bob's International Airline of Air Fred.
You have to be going to a pretty awful place if getting there is half the fun.
Express your feelings all the time unless you're trying to hide something.

Nameless entry

2008-03-14T07:06:00.001-07:00

I read a blog yesterday and it made me sad. The man opened it a year ago, he was married when he started it and very much interested in a woman from work. You may wonder why I was sucked into reading about this person who so clearly was opening up his secret thoughts to the whole world. Well, probably because at first it sounded like a crush who was too shy to act, but upon scanning other entries I learned he was married at the first signs of interest in this young woman and that he was headed towards divorce.

What brings us as people to share things on a public forum that we would be embarrassed to share face-to-face?

Two years ago a friend posted on the very same subject. I remember letting that process and knowing that in fact a faceless entry to a world unknown, is an outlet, but how much information is too much? Do I really need to know he’s talking about an affair? Do I want to know? Why can't people write those kinds of things down in a real journal or at least a typed journal that the public doesn’t get to see, perhaps something saved only to the hard drive of the computer?

I pop in on the world of other blogs (and the wider internet for that matter) because now and then I find amazing artists. People who use worlds like a paintbrush or who take photographs that leave me speechless—revealing the awesome beauty of the world God created. The hazard is that the world, online and “irl” is full of humans, base, shameless humans who would contort and twist the wonders of any world into ugliness.

So take the good with the bad, just make sure to discard the latter.

Expelled

2008-02-29T10:52:00.000-08:00

2008-02-28T10:33:00.000-08:00

Pool anyone?

2008-02-28T10:27:00.001-08:00

my sister doesn't like these shots... but I do, the brightness in the color shots is neat to me...

This is an idea that Susan had and I happened to be near a pool table after her shot "Behind the Eightball" and thought HEY, I should play for a minute... so I did...

I call this one...

2008-02-26T08:11:00.000-08:00

"Snoop Baby Snoop" like snoop doggy dog only much much cuter!

Flooded

2008-02-25T09:26:00.000-08:00

The earlier part of last week I was hit with a rush of people. Names kept coming to mind and I didn't know what to do first--call, write a letter, pray... I knew I had to do something tho--sometimes its like waking up from a fog. I pause and see so many people around me and wonder what in the world I'm doing. Am I doing what's right? Have I been negligent? (the answer to that is yes) and What do I do to make up for what time I seem to have lost?

Precious, few, limited... moments in time... don't let them get away from you. Do as that popular saying suggests, "live, laugh, love"

God Speaking

2008-02-21T11:08:00.000-08:00

Have you ever heard a love song, that set your spirit free?
Have you ever watched a sunrise and felt you could not breathe?
What if it’s Him. What if it’s God speaking?

Have you ever cried a tear that you could not explain?
Have you ever met a stranger who already knew your name?
What if it’s Him. What if it’s God speaking?

Who knows how He’ll get a hold of us?
Get our attention to prove He is enough.
He’ll do, and He’ll use whatever He wants to.
To tell us, I Love You.

Have you ever lost a loved one
Who you thought should still be here?
Do you know what it feels like
to be tangled up in fear?
What if He’s somehow involved?
What if He’s speaking through it all?

Who knows how He’ll get a hold of us?
Get our attention to prove he is enough.
He’ll do and He’ll use whatever He wants to
To tell us, I love you.

His ways are higher
His ways are better
Though sometimes strange
What could be stranger than God in a manger?

Who knows how He’ll get a hold of us?
Get our attention to prove He is enough.
Who knows how He’ll get a hold of you?
Get your attention to prove he is enough.
He’ll do and He’ll use whatever He wants to,
To tell us I love you
God is speaking, I love you

~Mandisa

2008-02-14T08:49:00.000-08:00

'"behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God" I John 3:1a

Nobody can love us like Jesus cuz He is love! God is good all the time. May you all have a very special day and know you are loved!'

A msg from my friend B that I thought you could use. Because while I too hold no meaning for this day of "love" in the sense of relationship with a significan other... God is awesome and he does love us so that's well worth mentioning.

raised to praise

2008-02-14T08:45:00.000-08:00

Who's way is best?

2008-02-11T06:14:00.000-08:00

Egocentrism, we studied it in psychology. I knew it existed before I studied--tho’ truth be told, I don’t believe I ever thought of it in those terms… that we limit ourselves and everyone that we meet to our points of reference, that our way of life is the way and any other way is foreign, or stupid or wrong. It’s a toughy, that stepping outside yourself and making yourself mindful and considerate of other ways of doing and thinking.

I’m not talking about tolerance, I’m talking about the way you were raised and that it was different than the way I was raised… that in my house we never mixed the peanut butter and jelly to make a pb&j sandwich, jelly went on one side and peanut butter on the other.

I say all of the above because two times in the recent past I’ve had conversations with the same youth who is limited in her scope of vision. She knows it all because she’s one of those youth… and she hears with filters on her ears, no matter how you say it, she hears it the way she wants and most often she’s ready to argue.

So the request is, don’t be ready to argue, not if you want to learn… open your eyes a little to those around you, get to know and truly care. Don’t whine and complain because other people live differently than you do and you can’t seem to “get along,” suck it up and make it work.

Baaaaaa

2008-02-07T13:03:00.000-08:00

2008-02-07T11:35:00.000-08:00

Truck Study 2

2008-02-04T14:07:00.001-08:00

The very first picture on here is my favorite...

Another headlight shot just for you :) I know, I know, you're speechless...

Again, I wish there weren't so much junk inside it, I'd like to take a picture of the entire vehicle.

I think these two are kinda neat... don't know why, probably that whole "same subject, different focus" deal, for some reason that draws me in...

If my father knew that I was taking pictures of this truck he'd be ecstactic, this is why it's top secret... we do not encourage the collecting of items that do not function!

This is like the big nosed disproportionate puppy pictures that were so popular not long ago... okay maybe a little different, but it's what I think of... because the nose does look bigger than it is with respect to the whole.

formula for disaster

2008-02-04T06:54:00.000-08:00

1 Man + bad mood = 1 vehicular accident

and money we shouldn't have to pay to fix two of our own vehicles.

Some days I don't like dealing with people...

take a look inside my world

2008-02-04T06:36:00.000-08:00

S and Al graduated highschool together, Al is my sister, S is my coworker...
S and I were at the circulation desk on Friday afternoon, S was talking to a patron and I answered the phone... "listen" to this--

Conversation:

Me:"HC Library"
Al:"May I speak to Heather"
Me:"It's me" (chuckling)
Al:"Can you look something up for me?"
Me:"Sure."
Al:"15/501 from Dur to CH is that north or south?"
Me:"hold on I'll check. I wish we had a secret code." (chuckling)
Al:"What? Why?"
Me:"I'll tell you later"
While the above conversation is taking place, the patron S is talking to is flirting up a storm with her... and I always find that to be particularly funny, especially since this flirt was obviously younger than S and S is not only dating, but opposed to such... shall we say "attention" from young ones...

Anyway, he's trying so hard to impress-- sophomore in college helping his med school friend out--it's so hard to do undergrad stuff... not to mention all this research he's doing for the friend, [are you resisting the urge to roll your eyes? heh]

Back to the conversation:
Al:"Is it about work?"
Me:[laugh] "yes"
Al:"Is it about a coworker?"
Me:"yes" (chuckle, chuckle)
Al:"is it about S?"
Me"Yes"
Al:"is it about a boy?"
Me: [I'm outright laughing at this point] "yes"
Al:"Is it Mack?"
Me:"No, 15/501 from Dur to CH is south"
Al:"Is it Tom?"
Me:"No"
Al:"Is it Brian?"
Me:"no, it's no one you know"
Al:"oh, is he flirting with her?"

I love my sister!

(the names used in this blog post are fictitious to 'protect' the innocent)

devotion

2008-02-01T08:51:00.000-08:00

While reading a devotional I happened upon the poem below, it's that whole trusting God completely thing--the giving of your life and your very soul over with no restraint... but what if we do and God messes up?

Hm, you probably read that and said "but He doesn't mess up."

Interesting..., so why do we live like He does?

"Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass." Ps. 37:5

"Commit your will to the Lord and trust!"
Ah, it is here we fail! We give the wheel
Of our small bark to Him; but then we trust
Our hand upon His hand,
And dare to stand
Beside our Master, lest He wreck our keel.

"Commit your will to the Lord and trust!"
Leave all to Him; believe He knows your course,
Your dangers, and your safety--all--then just
Abandon all to Him:
Sowill you skim
Borne briskly on before the Spirit's force.

"Commit your will to the Lord and trust!"
there is an "also" we too oft forget,
And so are plagued and worried. Oh, we must
"Trust also," then our soul
Shall cease to roll
In restlessness and reason and regret!

Commit! and then, committed, trust His Word!
Has He not said that He will bering you through?
Trust His strong arm; and when wild storms are heard,
Believe He holds them still
by His strong will.
Trust Him, the Wise, the Faithful, and the True.

Trust Him to manage all that you do now
Commit to Him--the ship--the sails--the sea--
He will do all for thee,
But trustful be.
Lie down and rest from anxious worry free.

Unknown

Dy

2008-01-25T07:53:00.000-08:00

um, I'm sorry I lost your blogspot somehow... I know that somewhere in there you mentioned changing something (I'm also very vague these days), would someone like to share with me where she's gone and how I can view a blog she's written?

good for a smile...

2008-01-23T13:40:00.000-08:00

"After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations."
--Oscar Wilde

BatGirl! (nananananaana BAT GIRL)

2008-01-22T10:18:00.000-08:00

No I didn't sketch these, tho' it's an idea(r)

This was too stinkin' cool to pass up!

We may have to do a slight redesign of this symbol for you, I might actually get a pencil and paper out for that!

of course you need one of these:

study

2008-01-17T11:17:00.000-08:00

Snot Blog

2008-01-14T12:00:00.000-08:00

(so last night B and I talked about the blog and the words "snot blog" came up, which sounded so much more appropriate than "a conversation"... it had to be changed!)

B wants me to research and post about the mystery of snot... so here you go:

What's Running?
To understand why your nose runs, you need to know what mucus is. This is the gooey, sticky, slimy material that's made inside your nose (also known as snot). Believe it or not, your nose and sinuses make about a quart of snot every day!

For something kind of gross, mucus does a lot of good. It keeps germs, dirt, pollen, and bacteria from getting into your lungs by stopping them in your nose. But sometimes mucus doesn't stay put.

Reasons for Running
If your nose is running, there are several possible explanations:
You have a cold or the flu - When you have either one of these, your nose goes into mucus-making overdrive to keep the germ invaders out of your lungs and the rest of your body, where they might make you even sicker than you already are. You know what happens then: The mucus runs down your throat, out your nose, or into a tissue when you blow your nose. Or it can fill your sinuses, which is why you get that stuffy feeling.

You have allergies - Kids who have allergies get runny noses when they're around the thing they're allergic to (like pollen or animal hair). That's because their bodies react to these things like they're germs.

You're crying - When you cry, tears come out of the tear glands under your eyelids and drain through the tear ducts that empty into your nose. Tears mix with mucus there and your nose runs.

Baby, it's cold outside - When you're outside on a cold day, the air in your nose is a lot warmer than the air around you. You know how the bathroom gets steamy when you take a shower? Something similar happens in your nose - water drops come together, or condense. Then the drops mix with your mucus and run out your nose.

Stoppin' the Runnin'
If you have allergies or a bad cold, your parent or doctor might give you some medicine. A decongestant (say: dee-kun-jes-tunt) or antihistamine (say: an-tye-his-tuh-meen) could help you breathe easier and dry up some of that mucus. But sometimes the easiest thing to do is - you guessed it - blow your nose!

Reviewed by: Mary L. Gavin, MD

Date reviewed: March 2007

I figured I'd go ahead and let the whole thing stand as it was... with one emphasis, the italics are mine--There you go B, enjoy and I learned something too!

more showers

2008-01-14T11:54:00.001-08:00

Dinner with friends*Steven called*AWANA*DDR/Guitar Hero/Karaoke*my sisters*my boy ISAIAH*cheesecake*good steak*seeing Reuben*no more burn ban(band?)*silly pictures*vehicles*feet*running hither and thither*disney scene-it*jess's visit*fox in socks*rudolph*subs*books, books, books*friendship*not spending money*titles like this: "the sweet potato queens' guide to raising children for fun and profit"*enchiladas*movies*one more day*tears*laughter*car rides*scripture*smiles*children*

(what's your list?)

Talents

2008-01-08T07:09:00.000-08:00

What does it mean to be humble? Is it simply someone who does not boast? Now I know there are many different talents in this world, but the sake of this post it’s all about art!

I was thinking about the difference between a friend of mine and myself. She very artistic, she paints, and she draws, she takes pretty cool pictures too. But when it comes down to putting a price on those things she’s so passionate about she can’t bring herself to do it. I on the other hand am practically minded, it cost me this much to buy the frame, this much to print the picture, this much for the mat it, I’m still not so great at “turning a profit” on it, but I can put a dollar amount on what I’m showing.

When I have the opportunity to take a picture I get so excited, but in the end when it’s shown to other people I see it as blessing that I was allowed to be a part of it… that one fraction of it was captured for a short time… because what is more amazing, what is more thrilling than being a part of and seeing the works of our Lord? Please know that any time I show you a picture, mine or someone else’s I see it as God’s beauty revealed, that any artist whose heart belongs to God is simply an instrument being given gifts to share with other people…

Share your gifts--you weren’t given that talent, or gift to stuff it in a closet, someone else can be touched by the great big AWESOME, take-your-breath-away God that we serve! And guess what... He is willing to do that through you. Now that’s humbling.

Word from the library

2008-01-07T17:36:00.000-08:00

"swishy-swashy" to weeble-wobble, or wishy-washy

Thank you Antonio ;-)

How Many Kings

2008-01-03T11:58:00.000-08:00

Follow the star to a place unexpected
Would you believe after all we’ve projected
A child in a manger

Lowly and small, the weakest of all
Unlikeliness hero, wrapped in his mothers shawl
Just a childIs this who we’ve waited for?

{Chorus}
Cause how many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?

Bringing our gifts for the newborn savior
All that we have whether costly or meek
Because we believe
Gold for his honor and frankincense for his pleasure
And myrrh for the cross he’ll suffer
Do you believe, is this who we’ve waited for?
It’s who we’ve waited for

{Chorus}

Only one did that for me

~Downhere

Big God Conference 2007-08

2008-01-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

9 adults and 13 youth went to Myrtle Beach for a conference and what did we learn? Life is a vapor, live it to the glory of God! Remember that worship is more than words; it’s an attitude, a state of heart. Sometimes boys are a lot quieter than girls (thank you Lord for small blessings—I drove the boy van). That just because they say the sun rises at a certain time… doesn’t mean it’s up… it’s a little slow, but man is it worth the wait. Fear is false evidence appearing real… Laughter really is awesome. Friendship is so important. God sure does make some beautiful stuff and isn’t he so generous to let us see it and be a part of it? Fun doesn’t have to include a drunken stupor! Remember to listen to those warning sounds inside your head, sometimes it really is dangerous. Thank You for Your protection. Locks on gas caps are only a good idea if you HAVE the key with you! Listening is an art… to perfect it, you must practice. Money and fame--more often than not--equal a great deal of unhappiness, but if you listen to the Father he will never steer you wrong.

2007-12-28T08:10:00.000-08:00

It’s a wonderful life—one of those movies I watch every year, drives my other family members crazy because they aren’t fans. As I watched it this year and wondered yet again about the impact each one of us has on the other—I reflected on what would happen if just one person weren’t there. I’ve often wondered about the number of miscarried and aborted babies we have never met. Who would they have affected outside the realm of their families? How many friends have I missed out on?

What significant or insignificant things have you done or not done that changed another person’s life? Think on it, are you the living, breathing example of love and servanthood you were created to be? Have you touched the ones you come in contact with on a daily basis?

Who can you reach out to that seems invisible… the one you pass in the parking lot on the way to your car, the one at church who sits all the way in the corner seemingly to get to the door the fastest or perhaps they sit there because they feel as if they don’t belong… Are you being assertive? Are you kind to the cashier who seems not to know how to count back change or even to ring up your items?

What mark are you leaving?

Are you scarring or are you healing?

Would the world really be a better place without you?

Where is the Jesus in you? What are you waiting for? An invitation? Take some action, that person you were meant to minister to will not be there forever... take your blinders off.

Christmas Makes Me Cry

2007-12-20T11:02:00.000-08:00

I think of loved ones who’ve passed away
And I pray their resting in a better place
I think of memories of years gone by
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think of soldiers across the sea
Sometimes I wonder its them instead of me
For my freedom they give their lives
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

Tears of thankfulness, tears of hope
I cry tears of joy at Christmas cause I know
There is peace on earth for every heart to find
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think of families, I think of home
And say a prayer for those who spend this time alone
Cause love can reach out into a silent night
And that’s why Christmas makes me cry

Tears of thankfulness, tears of hope
I cry tears of joy at Christmas cause I know
There is peace on earth for every heart to find
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think of Mary and the virgin birth
And I’m amazed at how much God thinks we’re worth
That He would send His only Son to die
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

Tears of thankfulness, tears of hope
I cry tears of joy at Christmas cause I know
There is peace on earth for every heart to find
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

Mandisa & Matthew West

Can I get

2007-12-20T07:49:00.000-08:00

a Hallelujah! My friend is out of the hospital!

Sunday Impression

2007-12-17T14:59:00.000-08:00

Circle of four
Uplifted words
Praise and Supplication
Fellowship and love
Hands held tight
Impressions left…

You may wonder what kind of impression—well, let me explain. Our hands were so tightly held the impressions of fingers were left upon my hands.

I looked down and it struck me as symbolic, the One we were so fervently speaking to…, He leaves impressions on our lives and we so often ignore them.

Some would make the excuse that the marks our Heavenly Father leaves are not ones we can see, but those people should be reminded that, yes, in fact the imprint of His fingers are covering our lives, we just don’t look with the right vision—God-lenses, the eyes of one blessed to be a child of His.

Adventures in Sock Land…

2007-11-29T10:56:00.000-08:00

Got home last night around 10pm…. More than anything I just plain needed sleep, I waited to wash my clothes (because I didn’t want to move) until 11pm or thereafter some time. Well, finally put it in… and then I had to wait for the wash cycle to end. (exhilarating story, right?)

While waiting the rabbit ran rampant, hither, thither and yon. Much to her enjoyment, I’m sure.

Finally the washer stopped and I put them in the dryer, well, there was a load of dry stuff in there… which made me think…“check the lint trap” because of course that slows drying down.

Back-story: somehow the top of the dryer ends up with a whole lot of junk on it… strays socks included (enter the first reference made to a sock).

As I pulled out the lint tray, a sock… in need of a major adventure decided to slide gracefully down the lint trap.

Now I don’t know how may of you have ever had the privilege or opportunity to see the inner workings of a dryer (I know I hadn’t), I wasn’t quite sure what would be at the end of that lint trap…. so I cleaned the tray off, stuffed it back in there and tried to start the dryer… in hopes that it would work +sock.

It grumbled and groused at me! The dryer had the nerve to refuse to continue working once my finger was off the start button. I groaned in response… waited a moment and pushed the button again, in hopes that the sock had been worked free of whatever it was aggravating, no such luck.

*Deep sigh*

I tried to find a way to lift the top portion of the dryer off, but that would have required a great deal more tool work—after surveying the issue I pulled the machine out… pushed it around until I could see the back and then proceeded to work the back panel off. The stupid little screw things, that weren’t screws in the general sense of the word (since I had to use a wrench like tool to get them off) were fine until I got to the one that had no space to move the tool around with… I worked on that one for 15 minutes and sliced my finger on some metal (that hurt, but there was no blood). I didn’t end up getting that one off the conventional way… I got frustrated and started prying the piece I needed apart… and then the last one popped off. (lucky for it…)

Well, at the bottom of the trap is a fan… would you believe! And the fan chewed that sock pretty good… it’s the most ventilated sock I think I’d ever seen.

The End

Lionhead Bunny Rabbit

2007-11-27T15:04:00.001-08:00

When I went to pick up delilah, I met two little lionhead bunny rabbits (these aren't them, I didn't have me wits about me or I'da taken me own picture), they are SOOO CUTE! Just wanted to share!

Delilah

2007-11-27T14:45:00.000-08:00

There once was a little black potbelly pig... she was 9 months old and in for a surprise.... For you see, she was to get dressed in her Sunday best and travel to church one fine autumn morning. There she would sit and there she would snooze as she awaited... her picture to be taken with the pastor... for you see, she'd drawn the short straw; got volunteered as it were!... to kiss this fuzzy-faced man! All because he challenged his congregation to reach a goal of 150 people in Sunday School!

Her dress and her toenails were a loverly touch... such a sweet little squealer!

(ps pigs snore, ever so lightly--don't ask Delilah, she'll deny it!)

*insert picture here* (apparently I don't have it with me... sorry folks)

Life as I know it: A synopsis of the last two months

2007-11-27T06:25:00.001-08:00

Thanksgiving—helped serve approximately 200 plates to people working and a few to families who needed it

Christmas shopping on a budget (oh what fun—actually it has been, you have to be more creative)

Being impulsive enough to stop alongside the road and take a few pictures when there’s a pretty scene (2 times in the last month)

Having a potbelly pig in my car (picture forthcoming)

Held a pig during a church service (yes, yes, more on that later)

Discovering lionhead rabbits (more on that later)

Working on a Christmas play (and trying to stay sane while ‘directing’)

Mentally preparing for a friend’s surgery (prayers welcome December 17th and the days to follow)

Missing baby brother (birthday Dec 11th), glad he’s relatively safe where he is…

Writing loads of little notes to send to aforementioned brother (12 last week)

Smiling because sister (‘the one’) has decided her summer project is to build a boat (she wishes for help, if you volunteer, beware)

Being glad for (‘the other one’) sister’s engagement (dreading the inevitable fitting for a bridesmaid dress)

Spending a glorious day without human interaction… be shocked and very amazed

Watching Beauty and the Beast (the TV series on DVD—Season1)

Being blessed to know I have friends

Basking in the beauty that is this earth and being thankful to God I can enjoy it

Sunday afternoon

2007-11-19T16:24:00.000-08:00

Titles from my desk

2007-11-19T11:03:00.001-08:00

at this time I'd like to refer you back to previous posts (I actually think there's only been one) in which I give to you, the dearly loved reader, a set of titles that flow together:

The secret psychology of how we fall in love followed by Seduced by madness

Susan gave me an A+

2007-11-16T14:24:00.000-08:00

be of good cheer

2007-11-16T08:01:00.000-08:00

I know a young lady. She's smart, she's caring.... The road is long, and full of obstacles, but she still presses forward even when she says she'd rather quit. This girl, this friend is about to start a new chapter of her life--if she were to write her story she would break you heart and make you laugh.

The road ahead is long and winding./With eyes of faith, you'll find the way./And when the journey leaves you weary,/You can rest in the comfort of heavens arms -Sweet loving arms./And peace will follow./Peace be with you always,/As you go./For now you know that.../Through the darkness, theres a light./Remember God loves you.

Just keep your chin up...

The post below

2007-11-01T09:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Reader,

I posted the message below because I have asked myself many times in the last 5 years if I have been better at serving, if I have been better at listening. If I am the person God wants me to be for other people. Am I the kind of person that Lacey could come to if she had it to do over again. My prayer, and my hope is that I am.

May your heart not be so broken you see it beyond repair. May you lean on your brothers and sisters in Christ in times of crisis. May you know, truly know in your heart that I am one who will listen fully to your pain, to your sorrow.

Those that don't know me well... If no one else is available for you, don't hesitate to call upon me.

key2h@yahoo.com

Heather

Lacey

2007-11-01T09:03:00.000-07:00

Friends,

Five years have passed since I woke up to the news that Lacey H* had died. Life would never be the same after that autumn day in 2002. Bewildered. Speechless. Stunned. Confused. Hollow. Broken. All aptly describe the range of feelings and emotions that swelled in my mind and heart while driving down Hwy 421 to see Lacey’s mom, who, I am certain, felt those things even more acutely than myself. Five years have passed, but it only seems like yesterday.

Much pastoral and theological advice has been given in recent years concerning how one should think about and respond to euthanasia and physician-assisted suicide. Less attention, however, has been devoted to the substantially larger number of people who have ended their lives in other ways and for other reasons. Suicide is estimated to be the third leading cause of death among teenagers and second among college students. It seems that young people are more susceptible to such thoughts and actions in circumstances when their defenses are fragile, demands increase, rage is repressed, or grace is denied. Unfortunately, most of us know those conditions all too well, for they are the conditions of human life.As I reflect back on Lacey’s life and death, I can’t help but notice that suicide testifies to the brokenness of life. To recognize this is to acknowledge the element of struggle in creation, the gap between what is and what ought to be. That autumn day, like so many days before and since, was full of promise, tasks, and grace. That autumn day, like so many before and since, was full of rejection, failure, and obstacles. Lacey, like all of us, lived with that tension, and her legacy is one of both beauty and struggle.

I am always amazed at how the rhythms of the Christian year speak to life in amazing and unexpected ways. It is somehow fitting that Christians look to their exemplars for inspiration tomorrow on All Saints’ Day (Nov. 1), for I will certainly be thinking of a teenager whose contagious laugh and generous spirit still speak in beautiful and unexpected ways. Lacey’s life was full of grace, and she shared it with us unreservedly. Lacey’s life was full of obstacles, and we did our best to face them with her. We were profoundly touched by her life and deeply moved by her death. May our memory of her inspire and motivate us in our effort to bridge the gulf between that which is and that which should be.

May the Lord, mighty Lord, bless and keep you forever.
Grant you peace, perfect peace, courage in every endeavor.
Lift your eyes and see His face, know His grace forever.
May the Lord, mighty Lord, Bless and keep you forever, Amen.

Grace and peace,
John *
Ordinary Time
31 October 2007

2007-10-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that weshould be called children of God! And that is what we are! Thereason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.
1John 3:1

my family

2007-10-11T08:49:00.000-07:00

I don't often post such things and considering the last post being on a more serious note perhaps I shouldn't be so quick to post this, but I found it... well, a reflection of my family and therefore worth the share. Apparently the newest addition to the fam has had a runny nose... the doctor's office was called and instructions were given... the father goes to check on baby in daycare and this is what he shared:

"His nose had stopped running, but he stunk so I changed him, but it must have just been a fart."

and I pause and I wonder, "dear me..."

Bring the Rain

2007-09-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

I can count a million times/People asking me how I/Can praise You with all that I've gone through/The question just amazes me/Can circumstances possibly/Change who I forever am in You

Maybe since my life was changed/Long before these rainy days/It's never really ever crossed my mind/To turn my back on you, oh Lord/My only shelter from the storm/But instead I draw closer through these times

So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of/The dark clouds that may loom above/Because You are much greater than my pain/You who made a way for me/By suffering Your destiny/So tell me what's a little rain

So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

(mercyme)

I thought I'd share the chorus with you... there's something about asking God to bring it all to you because in the long run... he is to be glorified... it's a tough request to make in sincerity, but it's possible to make. Just something to think about....

Not sure

2007-09-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

Hello all... I am not sure if I've shared these with the public or not... I do know that after looking at them again I want to and since I've checked the blog and can't find them I'm going to... sorry if I repeat. Leaves are so awesome!

I can't do this

2007-09-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

I woke up late.

Guess I'm never really early.

I hesitate,

Only to fail.

I get so tired

Of procrastinating.

I need a change.

I can't do this./I can't do this./I can't do this by myself.

I can't do this./I can't do this./Oh God, I need your help.

I'm standing still,

Moved so peaceful.

I can't pretend

That I'm fine.

I get so ill,

Crazy, agitated

When I'm not really dying.

I can't do this./I can't do this./I can't do this by myself.

I can't do this./I can't do this./Oh God, I need your help.

(Plumb)

Smoking

2007-09-17T13:36:00.000-07:00

The other day as I walked out of the local pharmacy, I was greeted by a woman who was just opening her mouth and as she did so out billowed smoke…. I thought to myself… "now if I were in a sci-fi world I would figure she was a malfunctioning android."

Not much more to it than that… I just thought it 1-odd and 2-rude because she was in no way being considerate of the people walking out the doors.

[ps if you can’t tell I dislike smoking with a passion]

Words words... ouch...

2007-09-12T05:32:00.000-07:00

This week's theme: words formed by false splitting.

ouch or ouche (ouch) noun A brooch or buckle set with precious stones.

[From the misdivision of the phrase "a nouche" as "an ouche", fromAnglo-Norman ouche (brooch). Ultimately from the Indo-European rootned- (to bind) that is also the source of node, noose, annex, andconnect.]

Marriage

2007-09-05T06:20:00.000-07:00

Our Bible study last night had nothing to do with marriage directly except for the word usage “commitment”… We were talking about Joshua and Caleb seeing the fulfillment of God’s promise to let them enter the Promised Land. Joshua and Caleb remained faithful and strong despite the absolute disbelief of their fellow Israelites. So at the young age of 85 years Caleb not only said he was ready to enter the land, but he was ready to take on a new challenge if God asked it of him. Wow, talk about your tested and found to be true sorts of people….

The question at the end of the section that prompted our marriage talk was: Does age get in the way of fulfilling your commitments or achieving your goals? From there it spun off into marriage. Let me give you the family dynamics of the three people sitting at the table—one whose mother left the father, another whose mother asked for a divorce when the father became involved in drugs and brought it into the house with their two little girls and the last whose parents are married, but are by no means happy. The person responding to that question first said that he was too young for all of that (25 years old), that he was too stingy and too greedy to be considerate of a family. Sadly he named the kids he grew up with at church, let me repeat that at church. Only one set of friends had married parents that had not been divorced.

How sad—how heart-breaking.

What are we doing to our children?

“Are you going to leave me in 25 years?”

The picture we are presenting is that of brokenness. Oh sure, we can say it’s a fallen world and of course there’s going to be brokenness, but where are our examples of strong Christ-centered marriages? Each one has problems—that’s life, any relationship hits a bump in the road…. But what kind of legacy are we giving our children?

I drove the mountains AGAIN in a van--woohoo for me!

2007-09-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

This weekend was nice... long but nice... Saturday morning I and 17 other people went to Boone, NC. Beautiful... mountains, fresh air, trees, flowers, a river, butterflies! And my youth. I love those kids, nuts tho they are (no doubting, no guessing... just plain old nuts). I drove the van with the boys... hmm... my sanity sustained by N and K (much thanks, many laughs... nice to hear you snore N ;-)) the two other "adults" on the van.

A church hosted us this weekend... demonstrating what it means to love those in your family you don't even know. They fed us an abundance, packed us off to a community center (the basement they had available flooded and so they scrambled for us to find another *free* place to stay for the weekend).

$5.00 a ticket +
Free housing +
No shower two days (ew gross) +
Hard floor +
Concert with 5 bands, and 1 speaker =
lots of fun

Quote:
*laughter* "Miss Heather the end of your nose moves when you talk"

Thank you T :-P