Album: Lifesong
Is there anyone that fails?
Is there anyone that falls?
Am I the only one in church today, feeling so small?
Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong
So I tuck it all away, like everything's ok
If I make em all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I'll play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them
Several months ago a friend and I were discussing people, friendships, coworkers, church and life in general. He was expressing his absolute frustration and dismay that his non-Christ following co-workers were so much more open and accepting of him than those people he went to church with… I must admit, that leaves me looking around wishing to say to passersby “can’t you hear me?”
*There I am standing on a busy sidewalk motioning with my hands and speaking only to find that no one hears. That nothing is really coming out of my mouth, I’m just moving my lips.*
I think this falls into place with a song I have wanted to share, but haven’t had opportunity to do so. Are we happy plastic people? Are we so closed off we can’t hear our brothers and sisters standing right next to us? They are crying out for someone to care, someone to make an effort. Yes, it’s much easier to answer “oh I had a great week” or “I’m good, how are you?”
But wait, that’s so surface and superficial, where’s the heart of the matter? Do we walk in to the sanctuary With walls around our weakness/ And smiles to hide our pain.
How sad it is that we live in this picture perfect world of Christianity that suggests we don’t hurt, or suffer, or need a shoulder to cry on—how sad it is that those who need us so much only see our masquerade.
*There I am standing on a busy sidewalk motioning with my hands and speaking only to find that no one hears. That nothing is really coming out of my mouth, I’m just moving my lips.*
I think this falls into place with a song I have wanted to share, but haven’t had opportunity to do so. Are we happy plastic people? Are we so closed off we can’t hear our brothers and sisters standing right next to us? They are crying out for someone to care, someone to make an effort. Yes, it’s much easier to answer “oh I had a great week” or “I’m good, how are you?”
But wait, that’s so surface and superficial, where’s the heart of the matter? Do we walk in to the sanctuary With walls around our weakness/ And smiles to hide our pain.
How sad it is that we live in this picture perfect world of Christianity that suggests we don’t hurt, or suffer, or need a shoulder to cry on—how sad it is that those who need us so much only see our masquerade.
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart
But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be
Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay….
9 comments:
Hey Heather,
I needed that today!!! Thanks lots.
Great song girl. You can text, I def have my phone all the time! Lol, its real easy here, but i will def have to show you some of my friends now, lol. . . yeah, its going to be a fabulous summer !! Hehe
Feather, I think the answer to the question/challenge is that we are all afraid that the love of Jesus would not be enough to make someone stay, that they would, in fact, walk away. We make great psychological efforts to show that Jesus is really making a difference in our life: we try hard, then harder, then harder still. We're idiots. Jesus doesn't exist in our mental efforts, he's not our will... but he does exist in his body: our brothers and sisters whom we need (and who, in turn, need us.) Few people are brave enough to let their guards down, to be the first to admit that they are not 100% living in a state of bliss (as if that's what we were ever promised.) The vulnerability scares us, we know that people let us down and so we hesitate to risk it.
Further, we want to look like we have it together enough so that others feel comfortable sharing their burdens with us. No one wants to add weight to someone who is already suffering. We want to appear as if we've suffered enough to understand, but not so much that we need more help than those we want to comfort. So we share just enough... and never let our real burdens out except in the silence of prayer. And then God answers those prayers by putting people around us who could help share the burden, but we don't avail ourselves. We're afraid, what if when we open up they walk away...
Good lyrics, lots to think about. Sorry for rambling on in your blog (I've got my own for such extended meditations!)
Interestingly, true fellowship only happens when we are willing to be truly honest with each other, not only about the good stuff, but also about our struggles. Yet,in sharing our struggles, we have such an opportunity to extend grace. Yeah, we save the deep, dark stuff for those whom we can trust; I understand that, but we hesitate even to share our prayer requests, our daily struggles.
Is it pride? do we hope sometimes to look good for others? It makes us feel good to extend grace- A whole lot harder to accept it from others.
Honestly, it makes my life easier to be there for other people than it is to not know what's going on, so often it's those times that I forget I'm not the only one with a problem (or whole set of problems).
Yes maybe you can call it pride, but then in more cases I think it is fear. Fear that not only are we isolated in our difficulties, but that by stating any of them to another Christian they will promptly get up and walk away.... Or worse--nod, smile, say all the "right words" and then be done with the whole "situation" or person.
I personally find myself more guarded when I don't want people worrying about me. Quite frankly for all the positive and light-heartedness of most of the posts on this blog and in my daily interactions with people I am a pessimist and can spend a great deal of time depressed.
I understand depression and pessimism, despite claiming to be a laid-back slacker-type. Don't stay in those places alone! You've got a fair number of real-life friends (and a few of us virtual people ;-) so don't let fear take over. Spider Robinson often says, fear is the mind-killer. I guarantee Winter won't nod, smile, say the "right words" and walk away. The lyrical one is right, it's a whole lot easier to extend the grace than it is to receive it. We'd rather look like Jesus than like those he redeemed; the paradox is that we are both: we are the body of Christ, called to be agents of grace, and we are only that because we have been extended grace. By whom? By Christ, and therefore, in a real sense, by his body: other Christians. Let Jesus do his work, by working through his body... let others be grace for you in your times of need (and let's face it, all of us, always, are in a time of need in one way or the other. But that's ok, the body is collection of interdependent needs: my hand needs my wrist, or it will fall off my arm!) I can and do pray for you, Heather, but I can't do much else unless you let me know what you need (I can't send cash, but I can send Cheetos!) Anyway, if not me, then grab someone and open up. If they run away, grab someone else. Don't carry any burden alone!!!
Thank you Slacker for your concern. The purpose of this particular post was two fold. First to share the song and second there is a particular person who reads my ramblings that can benefit from the interaction of ideas placed on the posted section especially.
I assure you I am fine and that when I do have problems I usually seek someone out to cry with or to talk to.... If there hadn't been someone else important enough to share that with the blog format would definitely not be my choice of unloading.
Good to hear, but I'm still going to keep praying for you, because God knows you need it! :-)
Thank you :)
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