Last night and actually for quite awhile now (which can be seen clearly in past posts), I've been thinking, pondering, and praying about a certain set of circumstances. Here I share my thoughts:
Take for example, a life, any life. Perhaps your own life would be best to consider here--for though it would be easier to judge another, it's best not to go down that road.
Next, take a stronghold that exists in this example life--a job, a relationship, a lack of relationship...
Stronghold being here defined as a strongly fortified defensive structure.
Now understand that when God asks you to do anything, be it big or small, and you refuse, you do not get the luxury of true fellowship with him. It becomes a stronghold.
God asks us to walk through many doors in life and when you choose to shut that door instead of walk over the threshhold, it is not only that request which you turn aside. God is right there, and he'll remain where he is, continuing to ask through sermons, personal readings, friendships, conversations, still small voices, but the more you refuse to walk through that door, the more you turn from those other avenues God is trying to reach out to you through, and the more you effectively shut God out of your life.
Understand that when I use the "you" here, it's not about the "yous" who read it, but about me. I see that door and I see that it's just one request. And in my heart, to say "no" seems ridiculous, as ridiculous as I know that it is to be afraid of a mouse when I'm at least 20 times larger than it is.
It breaks my heart because I know that I have been walking in the other direction to avoid hearing what God has said and continues to say which means I am continually shutting that door in God's face.
Do you get that picture? I stand there at the door and I might as well slam it in his face--who am I exactly do to that?
If any of you remember what it is to be out of God's presence, you should be appalled. I know what that's like, I've been there and that was not of my choosing... now it is.... I consider that fairly lame, don't you?
7 comments:
Unfortunately I think that we can all relate to that. I know that there have been times in my life when I said "No! I will not walk through that door." The reasons why were never really that good but at the time they made perfect since to me. Remember that God offers His grace to us even in those times, His arms are always open waiting to recieve us. Eventually I would usually end up walking through the door wondering why I ever said no in the first place. Hang in there!
It's CS Lewis again, isn't it? Every step is a step towards heaven or a step towards hell. We are in the process of embracing blessing or accepting damnation. Grace can cover a multitude of shortcomings, but not the voluntary acceptance of damnation (and this is something I know something about...) You're smarter than this, so go open the freakin' door already!!!
Dy- It's my constant battle and I know that as a result I'm where I am instead of where I should be... Where I am isn't so bad, but where I should be is probably... oh at least 100 times better...
Slacker- ehem, I'm trying, just not as hard as I should be. And actually I've been avoiding my Lewis readings, talk about some Pilgrim's Regress... let me tell ya'!
Feather, you know it's not about trying, it's about being aware: don't embrace damnation (even slackfully)...
That said, are you 100% sure this other path is God's will? Sometimes doors are temptations off the path, as well as invitations to the path (but, of course, you *know* that... but pretending to dispense advice to people I've never met is a nice alternative to cataloging the end-of-the-year stuff on my desk!)
I wouldn't call it a path as much as a confrontation of a problem so that it might be resolved and I can move on with my life. Unfortunately that problem is a relationship with a family member--otherwise I'd walk away and not look back.
Sometimes I just want to 'walk away and not look back' but you helped me to see that's not what I need to do.. TALKING was the thing...(my least favorite word)lol
love ya stay strong I'm praying for ya
Thanks... Ever feel as if you are standing in front of a dam that is about to burst? Good things come with this flood, if and only if I open the floodgates ;-)
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