–adjective
1.
having or regarding the self or the individual as the center of all things: an egocentric philosophy that ignores social causes.
2.
having little or no regard for interests, beliefs, or attitudes other than one's own; self-centered: an egocentric person; egocentric demands upon the time and patience of others.
self·ish / [sel-fish]
–adjective
1.
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2.
characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.
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A fourth grade child who is expectant that all things benefit him and him alone. That if he asks may have whatever he wants.
When a spouse consciously chooses to walk away from vows made, into the arms of another person—someone they suddenly “realize” was truly the one for them in the first place… leaving behind a hurt and broken person, because this is what’s “right” for them.
The book on the shelf titled “Generation Me” where all else save yourself matters—but even that book shows clearly that despite all we HAVE we are unhappy.
Consistently making plans to accomplish a set of activities or even just to meet with someone and then not showing up or showing up late.
All those selfish, self-centered, self-gratifying people… those people, who spit, beat and mocked our Lord… and then killed him. Those people are us.
It’s been impressed upon me lately that we are to love God and to love people. That challenge is beyond my ability. It makes me angry, it breaks my heart—here we are God’s children, he considers us precious and over and over we hurt one another because we are too focused on ourselves and not nearly enough on other people.
So how do you get to a point where you can reach out to another person, especially if you have been the brunt of selfish actions and attitudes? I don’t know about you, but I don't want to be closed off because of someone else’s thoughtlessness—because when that happens I too become the person I wish not to be, someone more focused on me than on other people.
1 comment:
It's a sobering warning you give, and I know in my case, I'd have to admit to being more selfish than I'm comfortable with. My own ego is much, much bigger than anyone who claims the name of Christ should have (this isn't some kind of reverse psychological pride. I'm genuinely ashamed of being a total jerk; I'm choosing to work on it, though!)
But... I'm also concerned about the danger on the other hand. I've seen too many selfless people who expend great energy for others and who, on a deep level, hate (or at least seriously dislike) themselves. The commandment is not merely to love your neighbor, but to love your neighbor as yourself. How hard is that?
Self-love and self-loathing seem, to me, oft-times to be intertwined. We want so much for ourselves that we come to hate ourselves for wanting. Others fail us and we get angry at them, because we deserve better, but then we hate ourselves for being so self-centered. The examples can go on, but the Apostle Paul may have illustrated it when he laid claim to being the Chief of Sinners (a boast and a putdown rolled into one, self-love and self-loathing...)
I don't know, Heather. People hurt each other, and ultimately that makes people afraid of each other. Fear leads to anger (almost always anger comes from some fear) and anger leads to people hurting each other. We are a very fragile species, even the most belligerent of us.
Selfishness is always a choice, but sometimes it doesn't feel like we have a choice. Sometimes we choose poorly, and sometimes we are too afraid to make the right choice.
If you ever get it figured out, write a book and get rich! Until then, pray for me and I'll pray for you, that Christ will continue to remake us anew in His image.
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