Our Bible study last night had nothing to do with marriage directly except for the word usage “commitment”… We were talking about Joshua and Caleb seeing the fulfillment of God’s promise to let them enter the Promised Land. Joshua and Caleb remained faithful and strong despite the absolute disbelief of their fellow Israelites. So at the young age of 85 years Caleb not only said he was ready to enter the land, but he was ready to take on a new challenge if God asked it of him. Wow, talk about your tested and found to be true sorts of people….
The question at the end of the section that prompted our marriage talk was: Does age get in the way of fulfilling your commitments or achieving your goals? From there it spun off into marriage. Let me give you the family dynamics of the three people sitting at the table—one whose mother left the father, another whose mother asked for a divorce when the father became involved in drugs and brought it into the house with their two little girls and the last whose parents are married, but are by no means happy. The person responding to that question first said that he was too young for all of that (25 years old), that he was too stingy and too greedy to be considerate of a family. Sadly he named the kids he grew up with at church, let me repeat that at church. Only one set of friends had married parents that had not been divorced.
How sad—how heart-breaking.
What are we doing to our children?
“Are you going to leave me in 25 years?”
The picture we are presenting is that of brokenness. Oh sure, we can say it’s a fallen world and of course there’s going to be brokenness, but where are our examples of strong Christ-centered marriages? Each one has problems—that’s life, any relationship hits a bump in the road…. But what kind of legacy are we giving our children?
8 comments:
What kind of legacy? A bad one... one that dishonors everything we say we believe in. Our relationship with God is a covenant, marriage is a covenant... we ditch covenants when we want to or when keeping them seems to push us beyond our breaking point. I don't want to belittle human suffering and the evil that is abuse. I just know too often healing, forgiveness, and reconciliation are ruled out as being possible, even by Christians. As if the verse read "only some things are possible" in Christ.
Our Christianity is put to the test when things get rough, really rough. 9/11 and Auschwitz rough. My own thinking on this is, of course, mixed in with my guilt, shame, and sense of loss over my own failure as a Christian husband.
I *do* know of many couples who reach their 50th anniversary. I use to think that was sweet. Now I stand in awe before what I truly believe is a miracle. These folk are the answer to your questions, I only wish that I could have been one of them.
So I guess we are back to the whole "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." Ben Franklin
It's about forgiveness, not holding grudges and seeing the future with God-focused sight.
I have thought a lot about what you have written. Sometimes the hurts are so deep, so many, that a person can't even figure out where to start in forgiving. Unfortunatly we are humans and that devine gift of forgiveness and the ability to forget are more than we can do. I know we are suppossed to let God live through us and show us the way to do that. Sometimes things just can't be fixed.
I think you missed the point.
No, I understand what you are saying. I guess that I just know where I am at. I wish that I could have one of those marriages that could last for 59 years, I know that it is important to show my children how important commetments are and that you should stand by your vows. I never thought that I would be contemplating divorce 14 years later I wish that things were not the way that they are. Yes, it is heart breaking, I agree.
Dy, I know that life is rough, I know that people are selfish. You have my heartfelt sympathy, but understand that children are paramount to just about everything in this life. We are charged with their care and their teaching and when we fail we end up inflicting more pain than we often see. Please in the middle of your hurt don't miss that you aren't the only one and try your hardest not to focus on yours as much as those around you. It's so easy to say and so hard to do sometimes because sometimes we just want to be thought of and cared for and when it doesn't happen the way we want or expect we get bitter and angry and withdraw which just about puts us smack in the middle of what it means to be selfish.
Anytime you need a little prayer you just let me know, no questions asked. ~H
I can always use the prayers. I appreciate it. Thank you.
anytime my sister, you are on my list.
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